Home Bizarre Crimes Cinnamon Roll Can Explodes Inside Man’s Butt During Shoplifting Incident

Cinnamon Roll Can Explodes Inside Man’s Butt During Shoplifting Incident

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Cinnamon Roll Can Explodes Inside Man's Butt After During Shoplifting Incident

Las Vegas – Martin Klein, 41 of Las Vegas, was arrested after a shopping lifting incident turned horribly wrong. According to reports, Mr. Klein and his partner, Jerry Weis, had stolen several grocery items from the Las Vegas Walmart.

Reportedly, Klein and Weis had entered the Las Vegas Walmart at approximately 11 A.M. and headed towards the breakfast food aisle. Both of the men had taken several cans of Pillsbury Cinnamon Rolls from the aisle and headed towards the bathroom. According to CCTV footage, Klein and his partner entered the restroom and stayed inside for nearly 20 minutes before exiting.

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“I had went to the bathroom to wash my hands when I heard a man in one of the stalls moaning. I had no idea what was happening. I washed my hands and went back to my station in the deli department,” said Johnathan Peterson, an employee of the store.

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  • purplediamond

    Are you sure this isn’t an April fools joke? A real can of “whoopass ” there…lol

  • Anonymous

    Looking at the other articles on this site, this fits right in…

  • Eric S

    Everything on here is bullshit

    • Gloria Torres

      that’s the point, isn’t it?

    • wjshelton

      But it’s fun bullshit…

    • Mike Jones

      He would have been better off going with a Jimmy Dean pork Sausage roll.

    • Michael

      Cinnamon Flavored Bullshit!

    • jlenoreb

      If you have a problem with it why did you click on the link?

    • Kayvan Sylvan

      I think the give-away that this is a made up article is that the employee allegedly washed their hands before going back to the deli counter.

      • Marcy James

        Yeah, that’s the exact moment when I stood up and yelled, “bullshit!”
        LMAO!

      • Ryan Schneider.

        The basics are plausible, however. My boss caught some truly odd attempts at shoplifting when I was working at Safeway. This trio of girls played this kind of tag team scheme passing things from one another as they attempted to out run her. I managed to colse the door on the last, who then tried to scare her into letting her go on the false grounds of her being “racist”, which was hilarious as her husband is black and she had four children by him. Surreal.

  • World Warrior

    What a completely made up story. Why is this called a “news” site?

  • Michelle Ware

    LOL gotta love satire sites

    • Except that it’s completely DEVOID of satire and humor!

      • jlenoreb

        To each his own, I thought it was hilarious! I would have liked to have seen him jump! 3 2 1 We have lift off! See my other post!

  • Guess Who

    You’re clearly lying!!!!

  • Albert Gallagher

    What a shitty breakfast.

    • Reneé T. Armstead

      YES!!!! Bwahahahaha!!

    • Godless Heathen

      They eat cinnamon rolls by the buttload.

      • cowgirlmoon

        ROFLMAO!

  • Sheila Nies

    lol i am curious why they would do something soooo stupid

    • Robert G. Whitlock

      Cheap thrills, then a hearty breakfast.

  • Reneé T. Armstead

    Is this a satire site? I don’t see it noted.

    • Corey

      Yes.

  • Whydoyou Wanttoknow

    B/S
    the disclaimer for the site is even bocked now.. lmao witch basically say’s… they get their bunk info off the net and fictional..lmao

    • CherylG

      It’s on the last line of their Terms of Service

    • Gene Knowles

      really no one’s thought of saying Cinnabum

  • Queen Mab, Madcap Wench

    Something tells me that this will make HSOTD at Dlisted.

  • Sue

    Poppin’ Fresh!

  • Chris Hagen

    since when did they change it from shoplifting to shopping lifting?

  • Douglas Ledet

    Please tell me they threw the can away!

    • Sean Hicks

      They can’t its evidence

  • Paul Ripp

    Whats this world coming to First a can blew up in a Black Women’s Pu@@y now up a mans @55!!!

    • chainsawhandz

      Listen fella, you can’t have “@” represent an “s” in one word and an “a” in another.

      • IKR? i cant understand what he is trying to say

  • Reaves

    See…there’s this thing going on now… These sites write “satire” stories and they’re circulated as news because they’re so patently unfunny that some people can’t recognize them as humor. Now most of us are going to see the ridiculous stock photos and unlikely premise and know what’s up, but I can see how some folks can get fooled. Satire doesn’t work if it’s not funny.

    • Robert G. Whitlock

      Did you read the non-satirical article about the dude who had to go to ER to have several putrefied gerbils removed from his colon?

    • Michael

      Well you know it has to be true….I mean after all…..”I see’d it on the Internet!!!”

      • jlenoreb

        You would be surprised at what shop lifters try to steal and how they try! Where I work they caught a woman who had been sitting on a package of hamburger for 40 minutes while roaming the store on a motorized cart! Apparently she thought she could cook them with gas!

        • Michael

          Surprisingly I wouldn’t. I can remember a report from when I was younger (13-14) of a lady who, quite strong in her thighs, was taken into custody when she dropped a 13″ TV from between them as she was trying to waddle out with it between her legs.

  • Rebecca Thompson

    I want to know the real story. I know this isn’t true. Anyone that had that happen to would not be cheesin lmao it’s funny though

    • Ed

      That’s like asking for the real story behind Harry Potter…

      • Rebecca Thompson

        Hahahaha true

  • pooh_bear77

    Whatever!!! There is no way this is a true story… At the very least I surely hope it’s not anyway cuz if this is true these men need some serious phycological help… Wow!!
    Anyway longer I said I’m pretty sure it at least hoping it’s not true……

  • Ronald Althenn

    You are doing the cinnamon challenge wrong

  • Trish Martinez

    It’s poopin fresh doo!

  • Audrey Hatfield

    I guess he won’t have any problem getting “rolled” in jail then. Apparently, He can take it…

  • Barton W Rice

    Worst cinnabuns ever

  • Handlebar Said It

    What was that date again? April first, you say?

  • Wat.

  • watchdogg2007

    Cinnabuns…

  • Javafutter

    Ahhhh Wal-Mart culture

  • mofromUS

    Armageddon

  • cowgirlmoon

    That was an assinine stunt!

  • Scott Roberts

    “They’re not done yet!”

  • Joey Nail

    These cinnabuns are a little cheeky

  • Mike Bugal

    Judging by the picture I’d say he’s now in love with the Pillsbury Dough Boy. 🙂

  • Mike Bugal

    Actually, what happened was he kept bugging his wife for the cinnamon rolls. She finally got tired of it and said, “Ah, stick it up your…” Being an obedient husband he did. 🙂

  • Pablo U Hunni

    SICK SICK SICK

  • Vickie Ross

    Now that takes the biscuit.

  • ScottE23434

    That dude’s gonna get a yeast infection!

  • Brad Byers

    This satire site does not have the cerebral humor like the Onion does…

  • Richard Preciado

    guess it wasn’t pop n fresh pillsbury dough boy might have had something to add to this report but with 13 LVMPD officers lurking around seems he disappeared what ever happened to Ralph Lamb before Vegas became a police state

  • John Wesley

    Making Gerbils Jealous around the Globe!!

  • Edward Lewis

    This article gives a whole new meaning to the term “cinnamon buns”.

  • ASUshocker

    Is this the new “Onion”?

  • Merlin 702

    Ever had one of these things explode in your hand? Just picturing that makes this worth a laugh.

  • Steve Hamilton

    Well, the picture of the cop car is from the shooting there a couple years ago

  • Door1

    NASTY buggars!

  • TheOriginalDonald

    CUE JANE’S ADDICTION!

  • Susan

    Oh, that’s disgusting and funny at the same time .

  • whmustangs

    What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas…..not!!!!

  • Concerned

    This is really news!!! The man had the runs.

  • Janet Alderman

    New nick name………… Sweet cheeks

  • dguy24

    Cinnamon rolls and exploding butts down at the local Walmart?
    Sounds like party!

  • dan690

    What was he going to do with these cinnamon rolls after he took them out of his butt?

  • Michael Morrison

    I hope this doesn’t up the sales on cinnabuns?

    It will cost the taxpayers a lot of dough…

    Might save on free donuts for the po po though!

    Ha ha ha!

    I mean; if it ever got out that free cinnamon rolls were being served fresh, hot, and free, the streets wouldn’t be safe anymore?

    Oh, and the words Dunkin Donuts could have new meaning as well…

  • Kat

    He planned on making a special icing, thick, creamy, with lots of protein

  • Barry Copithorne

    If this is true..

    “Cinnamon Roll Can”. Okay seriously? They are going to go to jail just for that? I mean it exploding and causing injury in his body is enough to learn not to do it again. Plus he gets added to a list for an offense. Punishment enough I say.

    And some people just want to eat.

  • 401Civic

    Walmart security cannot touch customers or interfere with shoplifters they can only call the cops

  • Ray Hicks

    TG it wasn’t Skittles(rainbow)

  • fxrsniper

    Thats fucked up

  • Elaine Garner

    I can not stop laughing…

  • Little Big Man

    Damn those cans are big, now the K-Y makes sense lol